"What Cats Do In Heaven"

"What Cats Do In Heaven"

In heaven cat's read much more than they ever did on Earth. If you walk down a street up there ya can always tell where a cat lives by the big pile of magazines, and papers piled by their mail boxes.
Their enchantment with the written word is why so many librarians in heaven are cats.

In Valhalla cats tend to speak so much more than the did down here. In heaven that wonderous tax free Candyland to come. 
In that user friendly free lunch realm. It's not odd for them cat folks to strike up conversations with passers by.

Being so well read up They gots the lowdown on the whole shebang. Indeed they've a particular fondness for all that Sufi prose, and poetry stuff. 

They'd have made good hippies,...well they did, but ya know.

Any listener to cat Cable radio will be familiar with their lovely programs on the subject. Matter of fact cats being naturally introspective. They're fascinated by the concept of the Eternal.

Hey Heaven ain't nothing if not just that.
Cats are among the few species up there that get it. Well the Jovian Balloon Fish get it,...Lady Bugs get it ,...not many more. Them folks and cats are doing most of the research on the nature of the Un-Ending.

Serious shit that.

There's all this, but heaven or not cats is still cats.
In them bright Tinkerbelle realms of the free lunch, and no tax leans.  Cats walk on the ceilings.

Say you're chilling in you beach front digs in Candyland, and looks up. Cats!. Ya ceiling is crawling with them guys. 
Whole bunches calmly padding about doing their cat thing.
They even fall asleep up there. ya has to poke'em with a broom to get the down.

Btw they plays the accordion too.
Not easy without fingers, but com'on it's heaven. They also have full spectrum vision up there. I mean beside the usual seeing ghosts infrared, and through walls,...up there they sees through time, and space.

Everything is 200 octaves higher than most. The universe is all neon to them. Which explains a lot. Them little guys loves colors. Explain their loud ties, and why they paint their houses like Peter Max posters.

Most of the murals at the Department of Dreams is done by cats. When you're having one of them wild wooly vision things,...cats did the special effects.

They can swim too.

Heaven's Coney Island is mobbed with cats. The weekly Coney Island Cat Ballets are a sight. Heck even Christians like them, and there ain't much up there they do. They's real disappointed no one is being tormented or burnt up for being a Beatnik or Negro or Queer.

Sour hateful bastards.

Oh one last thing is just how many cats there 'seem' to be hanging around the beatific districts. In heaven you see souls,...all of them. Humans chickens, and such have maybe two or three tops.

Bleeping cats have nine...well okay them Balloon fish guys from Jupiter have 38 each, but that's another story.

Well that's enuff for now.

There's plenty more ya know. I once did a book about heaven. All it's levels departments, and goings on. Mostly how management tries so hard to keep folks interested, and smart. 

For example with all that time. Everybody up there has 48 advanced degrees in near everything. All this to prepare for the next level,...don't ask no one knows, and the Big Guy ain't talking.

Stay Tuned.

( The posts below are a bit more depressing, and serious,...enjoy.)