“...Resident Elect”

 

(...I just found this 2016 file of a demented dream of power.)

Once upon a time:

I think I'd make a neat President....I mean now that we know 'anyone' can get the job. I'd be a totally insane Boss of Bosses down in D.C. Unlike our recent patients there I'd have fun with shit. First off, I'd have a "Department of Happy Surprises" Fed-Ex everyone nice stuff. Cans of non-salt spam tickets to the ball game free cable lollipops 1956 classic Thunderbirds with free gas to start. Everybody gets a present no exception no returns. Hey what's government for?

We'd have the Army Navy 'n damned Marines set up emergency field clinics everywhere...I mean 'everywhere' because this shit we're in is a national Disaster. Special attention to the Homeless the abandoned elderly the strung out the hungry runaway kids the laid off the uninsured abused wives’ families. Make like we was just nuked, and we're putting shit back together because it ain't all that different from that. 

A "Department of Chefs". New chefs all over the place cooking up 5 Star meals for everybody that wants or needs 'em.. That, and delivered by our Army...heck if I was a kid, I'd join up to be part of this swell stuff. Imagine them new giant ass ‘King Stallion’ choppers landing in the middle of a forsaken city or town. That and keen to serve G.I.s pouring out to feed the hungry comfort the sorrowful and heal the wounded. "Protect and Serve" finally come to life!

Also perhaps an "Institute of Safe Desserts”. This would in league with the UN. Basically, fixing it so creamy yummies won't give ya cancer diabetes or bad vibes. Figuring out how to make all the world's yummy stuff safe to eat...without killing the damned flavor! We went to the Moon sent two Voyagers to the stars and have bleeping robots fucking around on Mars. I think we could do this too.

All this, and tons more in the first year or so...I mean besides building the ‘Woodstock Stonewall Monument’, and all the usual crap of running an Empire.

"Yes Uncle, but how we gonna pay for all this neat shit?" 

You kidding me? We're the richest bleeping country in all fucking history. It's just in the last fifty years the rich quietly took it all for themselves! This can be easily fixed. Just ask Robespierre, Stalin, and Walt Disney. That done I’ll open the Treasury for the fucking good of the folks that own it. ...You! Did I mention my proposed Constitutional Amendment of the Free Breakfast Lunch Dinner and Dessert?