This from summer 2016. Absolutely nothing has changed. it's actually gotten worse.

I see things now more racially than I really want to. I see the Bernie movement which I was like so many attracted to. I see it now as just more selfish white kids overcome with themselves like the hippies before them. They will not be affected much if Trump wins.

Just as Nixon really didn't affect them much. ...other than piss them off.

Indeed some of them have actually said they'd vote Trump before they'd vote Hillary. That or piss their vote away on this or that fringe party. ...or stay home.

I can't afford to do any of that.

Last month 100 Queers were shot in one place at one time. Half were outright killed. In recent weeks the long cruel continued killing of unarmed Black men by the militarized police took an upswing. Also being an old fart now I'm watching as my Soc. Sec. check gets smaller as more deductions come.

So as much as I'd like to just get along. I can't.

Trump winning would not just be a "Bummer". It could mean I lose my home my medical care or my life. In some ways I really feel my existence...such as it is depends on stopping Trump. So this long emotionally heated no quarter civil war among whites of the center left, and the far left I saw as suicidal.

At least as it related me.

I'm not saying things will be just swell for me, and mine under the Dems. However at least we'll be alive. I'm now so much more aware of the grave danger I'm in what with being Queer Black, and newly retired which is to say poor.

These are very bad days.

They have 'forced' me to think in racial ways. Something I have never wanted to do. Race the concept of it, and the history of it for black, and white folks in this country is worse than merely an abomination. I'd have to call it a sacrilege against life.

So yes, I'm now a sort of racist in that I think racially, and view others racially. My life is now more than ever held in check to the reality of class myth of race, and the real blood they both spill.