"Praise Da Lawd"

An old comrade just suggest I do one of my Sermons.

Well if they'd let me onto a pulpit say in West Virginia. I'd preach..."What da Fuck is Wrong with you Idiots? That asshole ain't gonna re-open the damned mines...he can't. He can't get them plants back. China is for sure keeping them. Also you kidding he can't deport 12 million human beings...that's Nazi shit. Which you'd know if ya ever cracked a damned history book."

"You've been "HAD".. again!! ya Dummies!

Sure now you can say "Nigger" in public, drive around scare'n Colored folks with them Stars, and Bars flags. However as you may have just noticed that ain't feeding your kids paying your damned rent gassing up ya damned trucks or putting new shoes on ya families.

Good fucking luck!

...and stay away from them polyester Klan outfits they ignite at the sight of a match!

....Amen. 

The Choir will now sing that old spiritual "Ya Can't Always Get What Ya Wants".

*( A 'Second' sermon was requested from the congregation.)

Fuck you lot wants more...well you asked for it...

Dearly Beloved, and everybody else. We are gathered on this most bleeped up of days to examine our hearts, and all the corroded crap that's clearly in there. What the hell were you damned yokels thinking?! The first big-city Con-Man comes by, and you Give'em the Deeds to ya house, and ya first born.

Next I expect the lot of youse to be on ya knees to some gold plated chicken or calf or whatever. Ain't you learned nothing' yet. No asshole from anywhere is gonna fix ya shit for you. How many times I gotta tell you that?!  "YOU" are the only ones that can fix that action.

If ya ever watched the History Channel or read that Jesus book that ya props up ya TV with you might learn something! And another thing leave them Colored folks alone...they didn't take your jobs away. They and them Arab folks nor the Feminists or ever da bleeping Queers didn't do that. The fuckers you dummies is always voting for did that, and is still doing that.

What I have to come down there, and wop the lot of youse upside the head with a bag of wet pink slips to get ya to see shit from shinola?!!

(...younger folks google that one.)

Right well you fucked ya selves into it this time. Get ready for four years of shit, and broken promise 'cause most of the stuff your hero promised is either illegal stupid evil or...did I say evil. Com'on ya basically decent folks mostly in a way kinda...so calm down. Love ya kids stop messing around, and see everybody as family. That's what ya Jesus guy said, and you ain't doing it. Not even a little bit.

Does the phrase "Fiery 'fucking Furnace" mean anything to you "I don't read books or watch Cosmos" cracker jacks mean anything to you. It does...good then act accordingly. 

Amen.

( I needs a fucking drink you lot takes it out's me!)