"...pastries"

"...pastries"

I strongly believe we should be allowed to die when we're ready. I'm not far off from this. I'll be 70 next summer. I have a chronic condition that my doctor has told me has taken 10 to 15 years off my lifespan.

So effectively right now I'm really 80 or nearly 85.

Not the joke it sounds like.

Every year, and now every few months my abilities diminish. 

I get it. 

Personally I see two to four.

When I'm in hospital which is often now. I hear other elders weep, and pray for their assorted gawds to come save them. 

This is why I despise religions they rob you of dignity when you need it most.

Me I never believed any of that noise so I'm fine in that department. If Euthanasia were legal I'd go before Spring,...or with the first buds.

I'm very tired, and have become weaker. ...who cares. Still I've done what good I could, and want to go. Now. This before I end up a lump of suffering flesh. 

This in the corner of some dreary ward being poked at by medical students that would rather be getting laid, and drunk.

However I, and so many are condemned to a lingering end of pain want, and lonliness. The medical people that treat us have one goal,...keep us alive. No thought remotely of the quality of that life.

We're just old beat up cars they're tinkering on, and making jokes about. Yeah I hear that when they think I'm still out.

So 75 sounds good 70 even better.

We're supposed to die a while after we become elders. 
I always thought it nuts to deny this. Yeah I want to have beautiful days. I want to laugh with old friends with my sister, and cousins. I want to enjoy hot baths weird movies the fucking beach pastires, and cats.

However no,...I do fucking not want to live forever.

Who would if they thought it through.

I want to go on my Terms.