I have a great longing to have lived, and grown up in wilderness. I think this is the first lifetime I’ve lived in a big City. That is if recurring lives are true. This is also I think the first time I’m male. I just never got the hang of it,…so to speak. Most of my longings are for wilderness. 

My family had a dairy farm down South for generations. So I missed my rural destiny by just a few decades. In the life cycles it was time for me to push on,…into a vast City Nation. I had children too…in those other lives. Many lives as a mother. 

That is very clear. In this present life I was always the one to care for the children of family. I had a child with a dear friend long ago. The little one didn’t make it. Miscarriage. There’s no grave. Our industrial values didn’t allow for one,…it was just tissue. I dream of him/her sometimes. The child appears as one or the other in my arms. 

About our farm though. If we still had it my brother, and I would have been running it. We’d have passed it on to our kids by now. Grand kids learning the trade now as well. So farms behind me in this City World I’m living in now. Perhaps the next life will be “Off World”. 

Another thought on life after life life between lives karma culture history myths truth life death. I said in the other piece on my view of dying, and death. I’m outside of this culture which teaches it’s idea of reality  life, and death as the only reality. As I wrote, “…I’m the wrong color the wrong class the wrong orientation. These have given me the ability to see the cracks in the unquestioned customs of the mainstream.” 

It’s the little things.
Like whole living demographics. I’ve been outside of this culture’s main steam from birth. This gives us a unique view on many matters.

We see what the majority won’t because our stories, and values are different. Mostly they’re what we internalize to survive living with a mass of people who either don’t see us or if they do don’t care about us because they don’t have to.

They are like tourists wandering the forest eating poison berries, and mushrooms because they’re superior, and above nature,…till nature kills them. We just stay away from the poison. Even when we warn the lords, and ladies they ignore us…what could we know after all.

So not all, but many of us see the poisons’ of the mainstream, and stay the fuck away while the settlers eat them, and die.

Don’t eat the bad fruit, but don’t fear death either is all we say.