"...Me in 1955" ...I've changed.

Hi gang. Still breathing. Symptoms come and go. I'm so tired of this. Sleep much drifting. ...having short Film Noir dreams.   Also had a feeling I was overeating...but wasn't. Losing weight. I mean I'd eat a small meal and think it large...wouldn't finish. 

Some dear friends just helped with getting me supplies. Family chosen and those we're born with are all we have. They put up with your shit where no one else would give a bleep about you. 

I'm writing this in a kind of haze. 

Strange. I fall into a sleep in just a moment...have a mist of a dream then I'm back awake and go on with what I was doing. 

Making little art things. 

I start drift off then start again. Tried to watch an old fav movie then wake at the closing credits. To me it was just a moment. I download the thing first scene starts then it was the end...just like that...all the time.

Snow.

I always loved snow even a little. It makes even New York beautiful...if only for a few minutes. This just by falling from the sky. We may have a blizzard through tonight and all day tomorrow. For the first time in my life...I don't care. My heart ignores it. I'm numb to what once gave such joy.

Classic depression symptom. Odd since even when I had life threatening events from it snow was still precious to me. Strange days. I glanced at the news a moment ago...bad idea. 

The Bosses of China and Russia seeing how weak and divided we are. They're making moves. The Great Game continues. On the upside Uncle Joe just got a cat..."Willow". This is the best national news we've had in half a decade.

I'm going back to sleep.

If I wake up, I'll let you know.