My local Parkway.

This at rush hour March 2020.

You may recall some media pundits even elected officials were saying that if the poor and elderly die of Covid. It's acceptable. If it will protect our economy. Finally, our core values were out in the open. The tossing the women and children off the lifeboat to make room for the money managers. Since them managers are needed by the economy far more than useless mouths.

Btw that term made the rounds on FOX at that time. "...Useless Mouths" During WW2 both the Nazis and Stalin used the exact term.

This below from my COVID Journals March 28th, 2020.

Corporate leaders saying let the old, and poor die...it will be good for the economy. That, and many saying "...fine sounds good." Even friends of mine are in denial saying this virus is just a cold as thousands die. 800 in one day in Spain. Bodies stacked at a Hospital near me. Madness corruption power plays. Folks making money on phony cures. Conspiracies' seeping everywhere like giant farts in a crowded stalled elevator...yeah I'm weary tired, and rather angry. People me included can be venal selfish stupid shits when we're not being thoughtful angels,...we're complicated that way.

From my COVID Journal. March 28, 2020

There, and back again. My short adventure out getting my meds and paying my electric bill. Both the streets, and trains were empty. Like Sunday morning at 5am. I was not in 20 feet of anyone the whole time. There were so few folks. I took care of my affairs. Went to the also empty supermarket across the street. I checked first for crowds.

Of course, I showered when I came in, and put my things in a laundry bag sprayed with disinfectants.

The trees are budding much more than when I was last out. Also Army helicopters buzzing about now, and then. Huey's, and Chinooks,...NY Air National Guard I assume.

Life in the plague year. All is quiet.

I think the sleep cycle may be broken...not sure we'll see. I now call it my "Limbo State". ...um sort of like Wyoming only smaller.

I took the Quarantine opportunity to clear out some stuff. It's all in about 10 moving boxes in my bedroom. The rest of my digs are Zen plain, but that bedroom corner is hell. I started this evening.

Old receipts from 2011 dead junk mail. Notes for stuff I was writing, but then realized how stupid they were. These remain rather extremely stupid. The years did nothing for them.

DVD's I thought I'd lost. One in particular..."Kind Hearts, and Coronets"...put that on your plague movie list. Old comic books I can re-read.

16-year-old audio cassettes from my radio daze, and some model kits I forgot about. These will all come in handy as i live out the 21st century. Or a short portion of it.

Cut-off notices from Con Ed ...bastards. You miss a month they're after you. Paperwork from Social Services. You get old you have to deal with them heartless people.

Instructions for equipment that broke years ago. Breath mints, they still work. Old Jury Duty warnings...I skipped a few, and $4.27 cents in change...which will also be handy. This exhausted me. Six boxes still to go. I'm laying down for a few days to get over all this.

From my COVID Notes. April 7, 2020

To pass my time of Plague House Arrest. I decided a few hours ago to get serious on a Pagan theology...or something based on Tinkerbelle. I held the first service at dawn in the last open spot in my kitchen cabinet. I was going to put a load of Spam there...but ya know. It went well. No crowds yet, but I can wait. ... being silly. Don't know what else to do.

Cat Woman over wrought by the service.

Passed out into the Spam.

April 3, 2020

Being alone in my digs I imagined it was a spaceship adrift in the far Ort Cloud. I thought of the Hubble space telescope. It's shown us so many beautiful worlds. 'But no Consciousness. We missed these by some billions of years. Future awareness will in turn miss us. The Earth for now is alone.

We are alone in a Palace of Wonders.

 

From my COVID Journal. March 26, 2020

Meanwhile in the Emerald City buses most lines are now free. This so essential workers can get where they need to be. Also Bike shops are now essential businesses. Folks are going there as alternatives to mass transit. The Subways as far as I know are still running all their lines. These are not yet free. Though there's political suggestion they should be.

Tho' I don't know where you could go.

Stay Home.

 

From my COVID Journal. March 24, 2020

Unlike last week when most behaved as if nothing was happening...things are changing. Far less people on the streets. None close together...fucking finally. Also cops now enforcing this as they should have a month ago.

Still no masks. There are now locally none to be had. If you have a cloth mask you can clean and wash it. If paper gaze...tough luck. Washing thins it out or as I found disintegrates them. Just stay inside. Stay in place or if lucky...Home. I have four masks left, and need to be careful how, and when I use them. Modern times.

 

If #45 comes back in '24 and I get deported. I think this means I get sent back to 147th Street near "Sugar Hill". 'Maybe I should brush up on the language, and customs.

This a terrible post from my FB page. March 22, 2017

It seems a day of days. At least in this building. There was a murder here. An older woman killed by her grandson. Sounds the typical urban tragedy. Until it hits feet from you. The reasons are unclear. The details I'll spare you. They're bad. very bad. Much blood.

It's been some years since I've been this close to un-natural death. Not since my Houseless time. Of course, the folks here are stunned. As am I. When this happens at close quarters the world stops. Being related or not it all stops.

That, and I had no idea it happened till I opened my door to go shopping and found a sea of Blue before me.

Police everywhere canvassing all the neighbors. As it happens they were about to knock on my door as I opened it. I knew nothing, and they said nothing. This to not color anyone's story. They wanted fresh first hand information. Which I couldn't give them.

I went out the press was there. The local radio, and TV. I got my information from them. I ended up on Channel 12 the Brooklyn cable station. Basically giving an overview of the neighborhood's history. How it was the wild west during the crack war, and is now very quiet, and gentrifying.

So here we all are.

With an inexplicable tragedy. We have much to ponder, and now much to live with.

Comments:

• Mark Marshall

   Love you, Uncle. Breathe as much as you can. 

  

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  • 5y
• Kimberly Massengill

  Awfully sorry, Sidney. Take care of yourself.

  

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  James LaMendola

  Sad all around, Uncle.

  Take care.

  

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  • 5y
• Daniel Finton

  I'm sorry, Sidney. We haven't had any in my building since 92.

  

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• Robin Miller

  A sad and traumatic story. So sorry it was close to home.

  

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• Denise Williams

  Stay safe cuz '

  

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  Sidney Smith

  ...yes.

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• Kristin Mcdonald

  I am so sorry you had to go through that. It's tough. I lived near a tent community one time. And you always heard about "it" so anyway I'm sorry

  

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• Robert E ODonnell

  Jesus, Sidney. So awful, for everyone.

  

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• Teri Noel Towe

  

  

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• Alison Armstrong

  Yes, stay safe. Good that you know local history and are able to communicate so well, even when traumatized. xx

  

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  • 5y
• Terrence White

  Oh gosh, Uncle Sidney! How horrible! Sending much love, dear Uncle! 

  

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• Katy Keiffer

  Ouch! Very traumatic for all concerned. So sorry your home has been destabilized this way.

  

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  Nalini Lasiewicz

  Sorry to hear, but good for you sharing it here. It's unnerving to witness such a catastrophic twist of fate, an tragedy all around.

  

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  • 5y
• Mike Feder

  A terrible thing-- mortality hovers... Take good care of your self, Sid.

  

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  Rudy Kisely

  I feel so terribly bad for this 70 year old woman, who's 32 year old grandson she obviously attempted to board and protect from himself.

  

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  Sidney Smith

  It's really not me it's that family. It's the closeness of it the empathy that naturally wells within. Death is so strange final mysterious. 

Domhnall O Cionnaoith

From far away I hear you. trauma, shock and horror is universal and we feel it here as much as there. Sad in its taking and tragic for everyone directly and indirectly. I haven't met you and I never will but I feel for you and your neighbors at this terrible time. May the mist of this time lift to reveal a new bright and sunny day.