"Mother Nature’s Sons"

PART I

I could never understand why the sight of boys kissing would put such fright into so many. I remember the first time I saw two teen guys kissing. Heck I was a teen lad myself at the time. I was 16, and gleefully stumbling around Central Park happy to be on my own, and not under anyone's supervision for a change.

There was a seriously confused Anti-war demo/Be-in going on so I drifted towards it. Mind you I wasn't a full consecrated hippie at the or ever for that matter. I couldn't afford the costumes drugs communes or the rich scumbag background that would support all that.

I was just another fucked over black teen looking for company, and or freedom. Both these things are a rare commodity in any life or era.

Well like I sez I drifted into the Sheep Meadow which at that point hadn't had any sheep in 40 years. Now it's close to 100.  Well no sheep, but there were some Queer teen boys on the grass. Holy Crap!! They was kissing like there was a prize 1956 hot pink Thunderbird at the other end.

Of course I tried to be hip.

I mean after all this was '1966'. Granted this can still get you killed on 'every' part of this planet in 2017. However I took this vision from my most holy of holies my most quiet desperate dreams in stride.

I didn't faint.

Still the sight of these sacred goings on made my tender Heart flutter. Like a month earlier when my proto boy friend put his arm around my waist. I mean right there in the open. In the hallway of my sad dreary school/prison/madhouse.

Odd that. I mean he could have stuck his tongue down my throat ripped open my pants pulled out my eager cock, and sucked the hell out of it, and me. This with no one batting an eye.

Odd indeed, and the topic of another story.

In the shadow of urban mayhem. Mother Nature's embarrassing step children were at play in the fields of the Lord.

My passionate desire was to be able to do the same with my high school heart throb,..."X".  

Nice that, "X", sort of what a sweet 19th century Vermont lady would call a lover in the romantic novel she was secretly writing.

Btw I once wrote an "R" rated story about that fumbling, and intermittent affair. One day before I kick the bucket I mean to make a little video about it.  I plan to use dolls, and puppets. 

Anyhow seeing happy perverts going at it is where so much of the murderous rage of the bashers, and haters comes from. 

The sight or even the thought that this fills them with killing rage, and for more than a few secret desire. Life love desire hate rage quite a stew.

I think this is at the core of what makes bullies to kick the shit out of the innocent. That, and drive Queer youngsters to their deaths. This is the engine that drives the wicked, and cruel to do their evil work.

Just the thought of such a simple tenderness pushes these wounded angry souls to violent madness.


Fear is the true root of all evils.

PART II

"Book of Days"

I have a very strong maternal protective instinct. I have a strong nurturing nature. This came in handy for helping to raise a brood of nieces, and nephews.

We had a large extended family so when babies started showing up both in, and out of wedlock there were always some of us around for child care duties.

My youngest sister started to have babies just as I dropped out of college for the third time. So I was home while she went to school. For reasons Angelic I suppose I wasn't allergic to baby stuff. Like them endlessly crapping.

Lesson one...wait till their finished before changing. Oh wow what an adventure. I'll leave all that jazz to your imaginations.

Thing above all is I just loved them so. I love babies, and kiddies in general, and they seem to like me fine. I think in another life if this is what really happens. I believe I was a mommy with a platoon of kiddies. 

This is probably why I loves boys so much. Those that have been in my life I've protected, and nurtured. Naw I never banged no kiddies give me a break. But then I've learned I can't care what the world thinks. Just what those I've loved think.

Here's a story all this just reminded me of.

Back in 1969 I joined a Queer group called Gay Youth. It was the first on planet Earth organization for Queer teens. Wow how about that. I was only in for a short time as I was going away to college the next year, but it was a very full year.

All that becoming a man independence from family, and fun scary adventures. I was in several gay bars, and clubs that were raided by both cops, and hoodlums. "...scary, and exciting."

These raids were "after" Stonewall btw. Raids continued for years after the riots.

The point is I had a special friend "X".  That's sweet like a character in an  love novel published anonymously by a nice lady in Vermont in the 1880's

Anyway he was younger just turned 15, and  I was just 18. I had just got my Draft Card...Google that. My beloved "X" was very sweet gentle, and thoughtful. Very sexy too. Just the sort to be devoured by a vicious world.

"X" is a happy memory.

Sure there was fucked up shit...his insane parents, and brother that wanted to kill him. Just like today when Queer teens are butchered by friends or family.

Other than the threat of murder everything was fine.

We were all under that threat then as now. However to the point. We were friends, and in a kind of love lust stoned madness. Yeah "X" was the first person I got high with. 

Oh btw he was very fem a sweet Sissy boy which is why he went through such hell, and why his own family wanted him dead or exorcised of demons...they were Catholics too so you can imagine.

My family didn't really take my Queerdom that seriously. I was fortunate as hell my folks were they way the were. Sure they were nuts insane beat us when we were little, and yelled too much, but so did all parents back then. 

All the Great Depression Jim Crow, and WW2 generation were angry, and generally nuts.

Despite this they were weirdly tolerant at the same time. Both of my folks being in show business for a while helped. My mom had a Queer roommate when she went to City College, and sang at clubs at night. Dad played big band piano so ran into queers every day.

All this to say Queers weren't space aliens to them. So when I turned up it wasn't that big a deal. My bringing "X" home was mostly okay...eh with the very very clear understanding that there would be no funny business in the house...or backyard or garage or basement or roof or back seat.

...or anywhere else my Mom could think of.

Anyway my sisters, and my folks liked "X", and felt protective of him when I told them about his home life. There's no big finish to this. I had a warm stoned slightly sexual relationship with him for a year. I eventually went away to school as to keep me out of Vietnam, and eventually into the middle class.

Neither of us wanted it to happen, but we did drift apart. Such is part of life. Two youngsters separated getting involved with new people new weird adventures...we separate, and move on.

To nurture, and protect.