"Star of Wonder"

"Star of Wonder"

I remember.

During one overdose as a lad

 I was awake as my heart stopped.

I was dead, but still aware.

An interesting evening that.

From this I learned that we live as long as we're supposed to.

"...tick tock"

"...tick tock"

Some are like Gawd, and her family.

They sometimes live outside of time.

Dolls for instance.

"Deus amor est"

"Deus amor est"

If the Jesus of history the human person. If he were alive today. If he lived in any of dozens of disputed warring regions on this earth today.  He'd be in an interment camp. ...perhaps soon to be killed.

"...behold"

"...behold"

Luke 2:9-12

And, lo, the Angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the Angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

( ...eh sometimes I have religious flash-backs. )

'СВОБОДА ОТ СТРАХА'

'СВОБОДА ОТ СТРАХА'

"Our Lives"

"Our Lives"

I'm certain that in other lives I was a warrior. That, and a mother many times. Many lives with great broods of loud wild wonderful children. I think this is my first life in a big city. I have this feeling about wilderness, and sometimes farms. 

My family had a dairy farm down south long ago. If things were just slightly different I'd have been down there running the place with my brother. Though my brother is gone now. So I suppose I'd be about ready to hand it over to either his or my sons. 

We are so many people so many realities so many lives that are faintly remembered...like dreams on waking. We wake, and a whole life is on the tip of our souls,...then gone.

"Forbidden Fruit"

"Forbidden Fruit"

It's the 'little' things in life that make all that other dreary life crap bearable. ...lemme put it another way. It's the little "Cream Filled Fucking Delights!" that make all that other insane noise survivable!

Aw man you have no idea!

I dream of hijacking a "Good Humor" truck at machine-gun point driving the damned thing out to the Rockaway dunes by Jamaica Bay 'n eating the contents all by my engorged lonesome.

I'm fantasizing Pastry Orgies the way I used to dream up Speed, and Cocaine gang-bang Jamborees...hold the Angel Dust.

My hearts desire is not only legal 'n cheap, but is cruelly displayed in every damned shop window in town to taunt me! Why couldn't I be addicted to something easy like Heroin or Faberge Eggs?!

Please just one Cream Puff. 

I won't even eat the whole thing...I'll just.. admire it, pray to it, write sonnets about it.

...com'on dammit have a heart!

"Cold Front in My Dreams"

"Cold Front in My Dreams"

"From the Private Journals of Uncle Sydney"

"From the Private Journals of Uncle Sydney"

It was the mid-late 1960's when I was in high school studying math. Quite by accident I got high in the boys crapper then went to class. I was amazed to realize how much LSD Speed, and what we called Wacky Weed quickened the mind. After that math was no problem.

Some of us in time concocted assorted custom enhancements. The consumption of which led to interesting equations. Some for slip streaming hyper quantum waves as to make faster than light communications, and with some tweaking hyper-space faster than light travel possible.

Time-like, light-like and space-like intervals in special relativity can be used to classify six-dimensional curves through curved spacetime.  At least I think so.

Though not for organic matter.

An astronaut traveling through,...well for want of a better term...Dark-Matter Space. Such a pilot, and crew would have a very bad day or I should say eternity. 

You see the Dark Universe is actually a kind of embryonic realm. Which is to say the balances are not exactly there yet. The laws of physics are wildly variable. An astronaut would really not like it there. However automated probes it would be fine. ...mostly. Some came back sentient.

We sent interstellar probes to nearby systems in a few moments. Though as I say some returned self aware. We of course kept this ourselves even to this day. I mean imagine what the current crop of world leaders would do with this. #45 being exhibit "A".

( The above is from "The Secret History of the World", and my place in it. Volume 36 of Uncle Sydney's Private Journals.)