Saturday, December 7, 2019

"Why Can't Life be like a Movie?"


Maybe I should clarify.
Why can't I be in a 'happy' movie. Most of what ya gets these daze is either evil or stupid. Zombie, vampire mailmen that suck your brains out,...through your nose. Or love stories about annoying rich guys that fuck too much, and drive 1938 Bugatti's. ...and the women that love them.
Nah, I wanna live in one of them hopeful Capra fantasies.
(Capra a director Google 'em,...millennials.)
Anyway the kind of movie where some good hearted yokels go through some contrived whooie, but in the end all's well.
I want to be the Crusading Teacher, Rabbi, or Reporter. There's always one of these swell folks in the script.
Always fighting for the innocent!
Some old guy is losing his farm or a bunch of cute Depression era kids are about to be dumped in an evil orphanage. The farmer goes to the glue factory, and the kids get flogged, and have to do the dishes in some Hellish Kid Prison.
Somewhere in all this I gets to make a Passionate Speech Sermon or Editorial. This usually saves everybody. Well most of them anyway.
In the final scene Gramps is back on his farm knee deep in pig shit, and the kids are on the block stealing stuff, and breaking windows. All happy as Junkies that stumbles onto 50 kilos of China White. (...uncut.)
The music swells, and the credits roll the curtain drops.
What could be better. That, and no one has to see the messy contradictions of the film's characters getting on with everyday life after the lights come up.
This is why we loved the old movies so much, and why I wants to live in one. Their universe, their eternity is one that has 'never' had segregation a backed up toilet stubbed toe or Subpoenas.

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