"Symptoms"

Months ago I posted my journal of my life, and times in hospital for a month. Turns out I nearly kicked the bucket. Who knew. I thought it was just a flu. Turns out my guts were about to have a melt down.

In 2016 I told the story also somewhere on this page about my "Great Famine of 2016". This when the government mistakenly shut off my food supplements. I went hungry for six months. Well actually seven months, and three days.

Now I have intermittent periods of hunger.

More annoying than dangerous. Last time I had to sell many of my possessions to stay alive. That was a one time deal. Nothing left to sell. I still have my small retirement, and medical also my food card still works only it's been reduced. Seems I didn't die like I was supposed to so they cut it back to hopefully finish me, and the other old farts off.

However that doesn't matter. I just wanted to mention symptoms. I don't think I did that last time during the big famine. I was too busy figuring stuff out to stay alive.

The mechanics of hunger was just a given so I never got around to describing it.

Where to begin?

Well first it hurts. Hunger hurts. Rather bad actually. Hunger like dehydration is somewhat the same as a hang over. You're deprived of liquids so body pains slowly kick in. 

Mostly for me at least headaches. They go from mild to serious. Dizziness as you'd imagine. Also loss of balance. Again this from mild to extreme. I have trouble walking I nearly fell a few times.

Oh poor me,....ah gimme a break.

Blood. You cough up blood. Just streaks mind, but it comes. Pain in the gastro-intestinal very loose stool. Yeah way too much information, but it happens.

In the emotional part of the deal one is depressed angry confused weird dreams all that. You become fed up with the whole business of being older fucked up poor alone hungry. This is why the elderly blow their brains out so much.

I'd do that. In fact made careful plans for it, but fuck it.

I want to hang around for the next season of "Doctor Who". I used to say I'm staying to see if "Star Trek" ever gets better. However since the fuckers brought it back online behind a paywall...fuck'em to hell.

Oddly the hunger pangs dissipate after a day or two. You've felt these if you've dieted or missed lunch. Well when there's no meals whatever for days at a time your body quickly adjusts. Remember we're animals. You being to live off your own fat.

Been through this a number of times now. I get thin then when things get slightly better fill out again. Right now I'm thinning out,...again

Yeah it's a drag.

No I haven't contacted family or friends. I'm now just like that is all. I'm on my own that's that. This is my problem I don't want bother anyone for anything. I want to pay my own way as I have all my life.

Yes my dear sister pays for my cable, and connection that, and helped me when I lost my home years ago. Also later when I needed medical help. She helped me get connected to Medicare, and more.

She saved my life. ...literally.

The down side I over depended on her. I just can never do that again. Not to her or anyone.

Getting back to symptoms did I mention hunger makes you vomit water? Weird that. I looked it up.
Something about mini-convulsions as your body contracts...yuck.

All in all malnutrition sucks. Avoid it if you can. By all mean shove all the burgers as you can down ya maw.

You won't be sorry.

I just figured out my account should refill with Social Security pennies in four or so days. My health card for food refills a week later.

So it looks like I get to eat by the coming weekend.

This means I eat nothing whatever till then.

All together that'll make eight days without solid food. Not so bad. I went longer during the famine.

Com'on it's okay I was rationing juice for most of that time. I had the last before I posted this. Yeah I know this sound horrifying, but humans are far more resilient that you suppose. You could survive this too. The way things are going at least once in your life you're going to.

I'll update when I get something to eat in a few days.

Stay Tuned.

"Period"

I was trying to escape the demented political mayhem of our times by going to a scale model page. No dice. Some war mongering troll kept going on about how we need to build more quarter trillion dollar carriers like the USS Gerald Ford. He had the fantasy that armor would save them from missile attack. I took the bate, and laid into the ignorant Nazi fuck.

I replied:

"The age of the large surface vessel is over. Period. The submersible is the Queen of the Seas, and has been for decades. Just as the battleship admirals refused to let go of their bone, ( Pearl Harbor taught them overnight otherwise), so do the Carriers admirals, and their supporters.

In a war where the enemy is as well armed as we, and possibility even more motivated. Our carrier battle groups will vanish within a week. If a nuclear war,...hours.
Why do you think our potential major war opponents are not investing in carriers. I can tell you they would be if they thought they were viable,...they are not.

In a sea slug fest with other major powers the surface navies of all sides are toast. ...and no amount of "armor" will save any of them.

We are somewhat past Jutland."

"...things all come to an end"

Studio one. The place has become semi-automated since many hosts no longer come in. They email their programs. WBAI seems to have finally caught up with the 21st century.

Still it's sad. A way of life, and art has ended.

Comments below on Facebook from my former radio co-workers.

( First posted on FB in 2011 before my being forcibly retired after 33 years.)

I came into the studio one day, and was told I was through. 

A house cleaning by management.

The cowards in the office didn't have the balls to face me.

A hired goon walked me out of the facility taking my cards keys, and such from me.

So ended a career.

This is how it's done here. Not with a retirement party, but damned near at gun point.

Lauren Krenzel So sad to hear this. It's what made WBAI so great. All the crazy, crowded people, vibes & radio. Thanks for keeping the home fires simmering, Sidney.

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Sidney Smith Thanks for dropping by Lauren! Yeah times change as they must. What strange time though.

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James Irsay How a "host" can email a show in, not be in front of a mic broadcasting in the moment and seeing to the comfort of guests, and imagine he/she is doing radio is beyond me.

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Teri Noel Towe Why do we feel like dinosaurs at the end of the Cretaceous period?

Because we are!!!!

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James Irsay But remember - dinosaurs are so cool!

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Chris Whent The important difference is between live and recorded, not so much where the recording studio is. If taping is merely for time-shifting so that the producer can be off doing more important things than talking to a live audience, it's already a loss.